I've got feelings for you...(Part 1)

'I've got feelings for you. You make me the happiest person in the world, and if you give me the chance, I will try to make you feel the same for the rest of your life'. 

This is how Chandler proposed to Monica in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And ever since I watched that episode, I've written it in my mind that I'd use the same words when I meet the girl of my dreams.  

It was August 17, 2005. I don't know why but I planned to tell Tina that I love her today. Shabna asked me to accompany her to Amal Jyoti College to invite them for Virtuoso. The devil in me said no, even though I wanted to go. So she took Shebi and Pavan with her. So that's 3 out of the picture. Somebody called Nirmala for some Virtuoso work, and she had to go too. That makes it 4. It was me alone with Tina for lunch today. I suddenly started believing in God. We walked all the way to the cafeteria and ordered our regular Porotta-egg curry combo. After lunch, she wanted to take some book from the library, so we went in. As soon as we were about to leave, my phone started ringing. 

'Sibin calling....' 

Shit! CGPC work. If I pick up this call, I won't be able to go back until midnight. That's how all of Sibin's calls were. I cut the call and switched off the phone. Phew! That was a close one. 

We walked back to the electronics block. The first period after lunch was (I forgot the subject) by Harris sir. It was 1:45 pm, and we were sitting in the second last row. Kamchal, Vaisakh and somebody else were sitting behind us. I turned to Tina and reminded her about the thing I wanted to tell her for a few days. She got excited and started asking me about it. I played around without telling her what it was for some time, rehearsing Chandlers exact words in my head a million times. Then finally, at about two minutes to 2, I said it.

'I've got feelings for you........'

Shit!!! I forgot the next line.

'Whaaeaa(whisper)?'

Silence.....

She was looking out of the window after the words have registered in her head. I was still trying to remember the second line. I could hear my heart beat. And I could feel it's weight. Harris sir walked into the class. Shit!!! There goes my perfect timing. I still remember what he taught that day. It was zip-coding. After an hour, when he left, I told her that we'll go out and talk. She said yes. My heart was paining, there was some weird heaviness with it today. I didn't bother. We got out of the class and walked towards Royce.

To be continued........

e-Mail-ized

I don't know if it's just me but I have developed this new kind of syndrome lately. I can't go through a day without reading at least 50 e-mails. Now, you might be wondering what the big deal is. But I'm the kind of guy who never used to deal with emails until I joined the software industry recently. Every single day, I come to office and switch on my computer and see that there are about 200 new e-mails to be read. I have always wondered why people sit in trains, buses, coffee shops and even shopping malls looking at their laptops and reading e-mails. I thought they were pretending to be some kind of cool people who form the high class of society and can afford to buy laptops and show off. Why would you come to a mall to read mails? Unfortunately, now I know. It's addictive(And I kept myself away from alcohol and cigarettes all my life). Does it make you look cool? I don't know. What will you think of a guy sitting in a train reading mails on his laptop and replying to it using his blackberry. I guess you will have some sort of respect for him assuming he might be a very important man in whatever he does. Who else would have a blackberry with them? Or do you think I should get therapy?

Perspectives

Rohan's manager Roger Heathrow came to India last month from Dallas for a week. This was his first time in India, and he was really looking forward to it. He came to attend Rohan's marriage in Bangalore. He got here on a Saturday morning, and I went to the airport to pick him up. We walked towards our Taxi to start our one-hour 6 kilometre journey to the hotel he was staying. He was stunned to know it will take 1 hour to travel almost 4 miles in his metric system. He asked me why that is. I thought I won't spoil the surprise and put him in the front seat of the cab. The driver entered the HAL road and stopped at the first traffic signal we encountered. It said 34 seconds. We were stopped right behind a petroleum truck. There was about 3 feet between the truck and our car. And Roger was sitting in the front seat with his mouth wide open. He was rechecking his seat belt, but I didn't know how that would help. Terrified, Roger asked me why isn't there a safe distance between the two vehicles. It was at that moment a biker went through the 3 feet gap and somehow reached the front of the waiting line. There was a policeman standing on the side controlling the traffic, and he didn't even care. I can't express how shocked Roger was seeing that. He started talking about how the people in America follow traffic rules and how good their traffic department was. When the light turned green, the traffic started moving very slowly. And by the time our car reached the front of the queue, the signal turned red again. But our driver out of impatience drove through the red light and dashed away like a lightning. Roger was shouting to me that we ran through a red light. It was no big deal to me. We reached the hotel in almost an hour. I left for home after he checked into his room.

I had to pick him up the next day to get to Rohan's wedding in time. We got into the taxi and left for the auditorium which was about eight kilometres away. We didn't have much of a traffic this time since it was a Sunday. When we were on the highway, we saw a kid(about 16 years old) do a wheelie in the middle of the road at about 70 kmph on a Yamaha RX100. Roger was shocked to see this and started from where he left off the previous day talking about the bad driving conditions in India and the superior ones in the United States. Even though whatever he was saying was making me really angry, I didn't comment and kept nodding my head. Partly because whatever he was saying was true, and partly because he was Rohan's manager. He described the lines on the road as 'Suggestions' to the drivers, and not rules. He was talking about the policemen who didn't do their job, how close we drive zig-zag on a straight road, how dangerous it is to drive in these conditions, and how much traffic this kind of driving is causing. Finally, I replied saying that we don't have big accidents and pileups here in this traffic because we can't drive that fast. He heard the bitterness in my voice and stopped talking about traffic anymore.

He left soon after the wedding for Texas. He was a busy man. And again, I had to drop him at the airport. This time I took Ashwin's car and drove myself. I tried my best to follow all the traffic rules this time. He didn't talk about the traffic this time, but enquired about the places to see in India the next time he visited. He promised he would surely visit when he gets a chance. At the airport, after saying our goodbyes, I was about to leave when he told me to drive carefully and gave me a funny smile. I smiled back at him and left.

I heard from Rohan that Roger died last week in Dallas at the age of 37. He was hit by a stray bullet inside a supermarket when two 15 year old kids were trying to rob the place. He was on his way back home from office and stopped to buy beer. I was sad to hear that. He was a nice guy.

Perspectives...

...footPrints...

I got my first real six-string, bought it at the five and dime…

Played ‘til my fingers bled, it was the summer of 69…

Me and some guys from school, had a band and we tried real hard…

Jimmy quit, and Jody got married, I should’ve known, we’d never get far…

Oh when I kook back now, that summer seems to last forever…

And if I had a choice, ya I’d always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life... 

There is a reason why this Bryan Adams song is, was and always will be the best in the world ever. It sings a story about life. A part of life that every one of us has lived through. A part of life everybody wants to live all over again. 

Today, we are all in different parts of India, some of us even beyond. We have struggled to stand on our own feet, and finally got the first breakthrough. We are happy to be where we are today. And we are happy to remember the four years spent together in RIT. The place, where on an October 16^th in 2002, a bunch of about 60 kids came together in a classroom to start one of the most exciting journeys of their lives, a journey which brought them to where they are now, and which will take them much beyond hopefully. 

I remember the days when we started our journey. The ragging sessions everyday. All the things the seniors made us do in front of the class, and we couldn’t look up and smile, ‘coz it could be us next. The dosas Preena made, the duet by Sen and Tina, and finally, the fresher’s day celebrations which was the icing on the cake. The way we embarrassed ourselves was out of this world. I don’t remember one programme out of the 60 minutes we had which was worth applauding for. We showed our talent, and got booed big time. This was the first step and we went for it, even though it ended on a very bad note. Those memories bring smiles to me now, and I bet it would do the same to you. Our class tours, they were the best. The trip to Ooty in the second year, the Mathews-Rincy enactment, the KK-Sherin enactment, and the Rajavu ki Jai, the Hogganakkal falls, the Ramoji film city, the late night songs in the hotel corridor. I miss those days. The lab sessions, the lab exams, and the lab records, the assignments that somebody wrote, the classes I never attended, the virtuosos, the arts festivals, the strikes, the exams, the suppli’s, the Thankachan Sir, and all the other things that passed us during our stay there. Our Vadam-Vali team, our pookalams, our Mr. University. We really had a lot as a team, even though we never won anything as a team. Until the last year, when we won the biggest of all the prizes in the last competition we took part as a team, Keli-06. I really miss those days. I guess that’s what Bryan Adams was trying to say. Those really were the best days of my life. 

Now I’m in some city where time runs faster that I can catch it. Days zipping past by like bullets. I’m still in my journey in life that has no destination. And when I think of the days in college, it brings tears to my eyes, a tear of joy for the days we spent together, a tear of sadness for the fights I had, a tear of joy for the friends that I made, and a tear of sadness for the friends that I lost. I realize that I could have got back everything that I had lost in college if I ever get to live that life again, but I know it’s impossible. And today, when I think of the batch of ’06, the rhythm of RIT, which has become a rhythm of my own heartbeat, I realize that I have gained much in life in those four years than anything I have or ever will in my whole life.